As some of you may know, I’m big into online message forums.  I post and reply to threads on cars, health, fitness, photography, and finances.  Earlier this week, a topic was brought up about the progress of a guy named Patrick and his fitness goals.  Patrick puts in lots of hard work in the gym and goes at least 4 times per week, yet he was not satisfied with certain parts of his body.  Those specific parts of his body just weren’t responding to his training, and he had basically given up and said “Blame it on genetics”   His statement stood out to me, as it does anytime somebody uses it, when describing frustrations in their fitness goals.

Did he really hit his genetic potential when trying to increase his arm size?

Was he at such an elite level of training that nothing else would stimulate muscle growth?

I had to interject and offer my opinion on what the problem was.  The biggest problem in reaching his goals was staring at him in the mirror.  No, not his body and its ability to grow muscle.  It was his mindset.  With all the hard work he was investing in the gym, he was not getting the desired results.  He was at a loss, and it seemed as though nothing was working.  Patrick resigned himself to claim his body just wasn’t genetically blueprinted to have 17″ arms.  Sure he was putting in hard work, but I think he was putting in TOO MUCH work.

Another thing that gets me is when people say “My metabolism is just too high/low.”

Lots of people in performance sports hit a plateau, where their speed, size, or agility reach a point of little to no gains.   Perform bicep curls for six weeks, and your body will respond with growth and strength gains.  That is until your biceps adapt to those stresses.  Once it’s reached that point, the body doesn’t feel a need to grow.  This is where change needs to occur, be it a change in training or a change in mindset.

Self limiting beliefs can cripple your success in every facet of your life.  You may not believe that beautiful women are willing to date you.  You may not believe you can land that six figure income job.  You may not believe you can run a marathon.  If your mind sets boundaries on what you can or cannot do, then you will never push beyond those limits.  In my own personal life, I tell myself “If one man can achieve it, so can I.”  Sure I get lazy and make excuses sometimes on going to the gym.  I tell myself some reason to justify why I don’t go.  “Oh I’m too busy with stuff at home.” or “My body needs some extra rest, so I can hit it extra hard the next time I go.”  So how can one break through self limiting beliefs?

1. Recognize that self limiting beliefs are not logical.  You may logically justify the belief, but you’re only fooling yourself.
2. Realize that you’re not alone, and it’s okay that you have these thoughts.  The psychology of humans has been studied to a point where these thought patterns are identifiable in large populations of people.  Don’t think of yourself as a unique case and fall into denial about your limitations.
3. Create a plan to change your thought pattern.  What you consciously think about on a daily basis, will have a great influence on your actions.  Flip your perspective to be opportunity minded instead of obstacle minded.  Instead of “I can’t perform any pull ups, never have, never will” you can tell yourself “I currently struggle with performing pull ups, but I’m working towards overcoming that.”
4. Recognize the consequences of your self limiting belief.  If you’re unable to reach your goals, don’t let YOU be the determining factor.  You are able to change and modify yourself with a simple thought, a choice you make in your mind of the available options.  You limit yourself to not talking to women, and the consequences are living a lonely life.  You tell yourself that you’ll never be out of debt, and the consequence is a lifetime of high risk, stress, and unhappiness.
5. Identify and write down your own self limiting beliefs.  This may take a lot of effort, so it may be a good idea to ask close friends or family what they think your self limiting beliefs are.  People looking at you from the outside may be able to spot these limitations right away, just as I had in Patrick’s case.

Remember that having a high internal locus of control, will allow you to have better control of your behavior, attitude, and actions.  You will be more likely to assume that your efforts will be successful.  Let me know your thoughts on what your own self limiting beliefs are.

So a new year has begun, and I’d like you to take a moment to reflect on 2009.  Looking back over the past year, did you accomplish what you set out to do?  Did you meet your expectations and reach milestones in your life last year?  If not, then ask yourself why not.  What held you back from meeting them?  Are you looking forward to 2010, or are you just wanting to “make it through another year?”

What is the friggin deal?  Why settle for a mediocre life?  Why sell yourself short?  Why bother with making any advances or reach any accomplishments when it’s easier to just survive and live your life on a day by day basis?  Make 2010 a different year, different from the masses, and different from your normal self.

Check out my previous post on how to create better New Year resolutions:  http://tunedperception.com/2009/12/effective-new-year-resolutions/

value [val-yoo] – noun

1.  relative worth, merit, or importance: the value of a college education; the value of a queen in chess.
2.  monetary or material worth, as in commerce or trade: This piece of land has greatly increased in value.
3.  the worth of something in terms of the amount of other things for which it can be exchanged or in terms of some medium of exchange.
4.  equivalent worth or return in money, material, services, etc.: to give value for value received.
5.  estimated or assigned worth; valuation: a painting with a current value of $500,000. — (Dictionary.com)

Value is something that I’ve started to think about on a daily basis with every aspect of my life.

What value do I bring to my employer?
What value do I bring to my family?
What value do I bring to my friends?
What value do I bring to my community?
What value do I bring to strangers?
What value do I bring to my own mind, spirit, and body?

If I give value to my employer, I will be deemed worthy of this job. If I give value to my family, I will be loved. If I give value to my friends, our relationships will flourish and grow. You get the idea.

A good friend of mine, let’s call him David, is self employed and works on cars: Car repair, car customizing, car maintenance. He charges very little compared to a lot of shops and store fronts. I’ve told David many times that he should charge more for his services because he does phenomenal work. He says he is afraid of not getting enough work if his prices are set too high. David continues to get small jobs here and there, and he continues to charge very little.

He says “It’s okay, I don’t have many bills.”

I realized how he values himself and his work. He has self limiting beliefs on what he thinks his craft is worth. He gives a lot of value but expects very little. He justifies his low prices because he doesn’t have many bills. Is David just a good guy that has very little needs? Or does he have untapped potential to become a highly successful person?

Ask yourself if you’re the one holding yourself back from success…

It seems as though the only time we consciously think about gratitude is during Thanksgiving. It takes us a whole year to reflect on all that we have to be thankful for. I believe that if we make an effort to consistently track the things that we are grateful for, it will have a profound effect on our happiness in life.

1. Dedicate a notepad or small spiral notebook for this task, so you can look back on your weekly entries in the future.

2. Take mental note of things throughout your day that make you smile or brighten your mood. Jot those down at the end of the day before going to bed.

3. Start off by writing down five different things you are grateful for and build upon that list each day. It’s okay to repeat items with each new entry in your list.

4. Focus on those things that bring you happiness. Try to look upon each situation you’re presented with as an opportunity for something great.

5. Share one thing you’re thankful for with someone each day. It can be a simple statement and doesn’t need to be a full blown conversation.

So the time of year is nearing where people set their New Years Resolutions.  The majority of people will set very broad goals like.

I’d like to make more money this year.
I’d like to lose weight.
I’d like to spend more time with family.
I’d like to read more.

I’ve been guilty of setting resolutions like that myself years ago.  I’ve learned that this type of resolution never really gets accomplished.  Resolutions (goals) need to have four traits to them: be tangible, be specific, be realistic, and have a time constraint. Instead of saying “I’d like to lose weight.”  A more effective goal statement would be: “I’d like to lose one pound per week over the next six months by cutting out sodas and walking two miles per day.”  See how that specificity changes your perception of the statement?  You need a target to hit, or else you’re just shooting arrows into space.

Let’s take a moment to discuss learning style.  People are basically one of three types of learners:  visual, auditory, or kinesthetic.  Visual learners have to see something done.  In a classroom setting, visual learners would enjoy seeing diagrams, powerpoint slides, and the body language of an instructor.  Auditory learners enjoy hearing a classroom lecture, and they have talk themselves through steps.  Kinesthetic learners thrive in  a hands on environment.  They like to actively touch and feel the world around them, get their hands dirty so to speak.

So how does learning style translate to effective goal setting and achievement?  Expose yourself to each one of these learning styles, even if you predominantly lean towards one to greatly increase the chances of the goal “sticking” into your consciousness.

* Write down your goals. (kinesthetic) *
* Post them up where you can see them regularly. (visual) *
* Read your goals out loud every week. (auditory) *

You can even take it a step further and tell as many people as possible about your goals.  Others will hold you accountable for what you’ve told them.  Your best bud will ask “How’s that weight loss coming?” and you’ll confidently reply “Oh it’s great, I’ve lost 6 pounds over the past 6 weeks just like I’ve predicted.”

Here are six areas of your life where you can set goals for the upcoming year.  You may have more areas and you may have less areas.  Modify how you see fit and get started!

1. Career
2. Financial
3. Academic
4. Spiritual
5. Family
6. Physical

Leave a comment with some of your goals here, and we can all hold each other accountable for greater success.